What is the recommended timing for telling a child about their adoption?

• A. Children should be told young enough so they do not remember a time when they did not know, ideally before they enter school.
• B. Tell them only if they ask about their origins.
• C. Wait until adolescence to discuss adoption.
• D. Tell them at birth and then never revisit.

Answer: (A)

Honesty about adoption should be introduced early and revisited as the child grows, using age-appropriate language. Telling a child before they start school helps them form a clear sense of their family story and reduces confusion or feelings of being kept in the dark later on. When information is shared early in a simple, loving way, it builds trust with caregivers and supports healthy identity development as the child’s understanding deepens over time. As children grow, you can add more details in response to their questions, always reinforcing that they are loved and part of the family.

Waiting until adolescence can lead to shock or a sense that something important was hidden, which can undermine trust. Telling at birth and never revisiting misses the chance to address new questions and feelings that emerge with age. Telling only if they ask can leave gaps in understanding and create anxiety about bringing up difficult topics. Open, ongoing dialogue—starting early and continuing as they need—best supports the child’s emotional well-being and sense of belonging.